[Movie] Hold Up Down

Starring: Sakamoto Masayuki, Nagano Hiroshi, Inohara Yoshihiko, Morita Go, Miyake Ken, Okada Junichi, Kashii Yu, Morimoto Leo...

Film opens with two men riding in a car, going somewhere. The first five minutes passed by in silence, the two drove towards a road block and passed by three men talking, and a bloody accident scene. The two men appeared to have reached a destination and later opened a bag to reveal two Santa Claus costumes and weapons.

It appears that the men were going to rob a bank. The two men came out to discover their car is being towed, the men escaped to have the money locked away in a locker. In order to obtain the money for the locker, the men again, robbed a street musician who looks like a hippie. (Long hair, moustache, beard, the whole package.) Hippie musician chased robbers until robbers escaped into a train and dropped the key to the locker that contains the money robbed earlier.

Hippie musician got knocked down by two policemen who dragged him into a car and then got into another accident that left hippie musician flying out from the windshield. Oh and the cops are stinky, corrupt, evil, insane cops. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, hippie musician swallowed the key accidentally.

Somewhere, a minister accidentally set fire and burnt down a church. While thinking that he has no right to live for he has sinned, he tried to jump off a bridge but saw hippie musician floating in the river beneath him. Minister thinks that hippie musician is Jesus and thus attempted to bring him to the hospital for medical attention.

On the other hand, robbers were caught and interrogated by a female police officer who was at the scene of the robber. Older robber fell in love at first sight and found out that the two had more in common that expected...

And the story continues...

*****

...

After the first half an hour, I have no effing clue what the story is about. At all. After the first hour, I gave up on trying to understand a plot. Fifteen minutes after the first hour, I gave up on the idea that there is a plot at all.

Too many things going on at once... too weird.

But gosh, the minister is so... hawt.

What? Not like any minister guy can be so dirty sexy hawt like Morita Go.

But yeah, this movie is the crack of all cracks. In a way that is not very funny in an obvious way. Its funny in a ridiculous way that leaves you going "WTF?" at almost every scene.

I have never seen a more weird-ass movie that makes no sense. In the end, all that is left in my mind is a big question mark and Morita Go and Okada Junichi and KenKen's faces. What?

But in the end... I think I get it a little... just a little...

Its Kashii Yu again. Kashii Yu is everywhere. "Kiiroi Namida", "Yukan Club", "My Boss My Hero", "Death Note", everywhere!

She's my age, and she's married.

Being married at 20 is... is... I don't know... unthinkable for me. But obviously its okay for her...

I don't get how the world works anymore... even more so after watching this movie...

Ah... the world is complicated.
Rating:
2/5

Despite all the hotness in it, I still care about the storyline.

0 Farted :: [Movie] Hold Up Down

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