[PV] Arashi - Meikyuu Love Song

The second single of the year for them. So few this year. We all know Arashi sells a lot because they threw out a lot of singles, not because their two singles sold extremely well. Volume, Arashi, always, volume!

I don't like the video. It is not colourful and awesomely rainbow-treated with colours and gheyness. Not to say that there isn't any ghey. I am saying NOT ENOUGH! Though it is not without the group's signature sense of humour and randomness.

I am blaming it on the dull colours, maybe a failed attempt at artsy-fartsiness? Boybands should be boybands, they should be fruity, colourful, ghey and stuff. I say more colours! I say more ghey! I say throw in some rainbows! I say group hugs!

So I tried to make sense of the video. The setting is within a jigsaw puzzle. And in jigsaw puzzle world, there was a sugoroku game. And five people who move together with the number of steps taken decided with the roll of an unnecessarily huge die. Puzzle world also has cheap cardboard buildings.

The first game requirement is that you stand around trying to look pretty while dressed like poor stage players of perhaps the Victorian era.

Then you sit on dice of many colours and sizes and look soulful, I am going to assume it was to serenade a love with obstacles. Tell me something new.

Then out of nowhere, you must give each other high-fives because of reasons unknown. Then again, why not? You are reasonably young, and you dick around for a living, if I were you, I'd sit around and give myself high-fives all day.

Lets just assume the theme to be board and card games, because the background is made out of decks of cards. Why? How? I thought this was a board game? I think this has something to do with the Japanese and that game of association that they keep playing. So board games, card games, they're all games, why bother making sense?

Awwww look at them, so happy. They are so happy! Do you think Sho's pants are a little tight here? I can't help noticing. But look, they're so happy! 

A huge part of their draw is that watching them makes you happy. Look! Grown men dicking around like they have nothing to worry about. Why worry? 

The quality of the video is reasonable. But I am not sure if there's even any effort into linking it to the song. I mean, I am no Japanese speaker, but I think it has something to do with a maze or labyrinth of some sort, no? Meh, whatevs. This is like a more sombre and adult version of Troublemaker. I'd take Troublemaker over this video any day.

Ohno. Cute. But when you think of the fact that he's 31, it sorta turns you off a bit that he's acting like a hurt puppy. I think I lost something since the hiatus. I believe its joy. I no longer appreciate humour. But Ohno fooling around at 28 is so much cuter than Ohno fooling around at 31. I am just saying. 

I liked it when they were doing the squat, so adorable. I worry for Sho's crotch in those tight pants, but suuuure, do whatever. Looked like he could barely go all the way down, no? Oh so cute when they are all lined up and singing like a bunch of.... LOOK! SHO! CROTCH!

[Talk] Kouhaku over Johnny's Countdown

I heard that they will be hosting Kouhaku again this year, that means no Johnny's Countdown for them. Well obviously this is a bigger gig. They also replaced Matsushita Nao with Inoue Mao. Good move, that Matsushita annoyed the living daylights out of me. 

Arashi squeaky cleanness has done well for them these few years. With all the natural catastrophes and all the economic turmoil around, I believe Japan needs some of the rainbow Arashi has to offer, well, as compared to the thug-ness of the other units. 

I mean, true that they tried to maintain all of their units squeaky clean, but it seems that even Johnny's couldn't keep the thug-ness of the Akanishi Gundan down. With all their womanising and booze, which, by the way, is helluva sexy. Yes, I know, so much for feminism. I belong in the kitchen. 

The question remains, why is Arashi not womanising as much? I mean, considering their age, its not too far apart from those like say in, NEWS or KaT-TUN. So why are they so clean? Apart from a few minor scandals and Ohno's considerably scandalous break from his image with all the pot. I tried digging, am I not digging deep enough? Unless they are that good at keeping it under wraps. =D

This is why they were chosen for Kouhaku. Look how sparkly clean? Bring any one home and daddy will be less hostile, if not pleased. 

Owh, well so much for wanting something to talk about, there is nothing but positiveness here, unless I am being biased. 

I give them two more years. As much as I obviously favour these boy scouts, I give them a maximum of two years with such momentum. Note that said momentum would be on a downward slope as well. How so? Apart from the fact that they are selling less and less like hot cakes, the K-pop invasion, which I maintain my aversion towards. 

Though I highly doubt they will slump back to their 2002-2003 pits, it is unlikely they will rule the yearly charts over that harem of prepubescent teenage girls. Speaking of which, they scare me. Like, I am scared of those girls.

Inoue Mao! I anticipate this upcoming Kouhaku. It appears that they are sprucing up things for a younger demographic. By the way, the red team really has to start winning. Despite the fact that I want all things good for Arashi, I still lack a certain appendage that makes me want to root for the white team excessively.

Just saying.

[M-Sta] Arashi - Meikyuu Love Song

November 11, 2011

I am going to see if I still remember how to do this. Some guilty pleasures, you can try but you never grow out of. How long has it been? Did you hear that there's a new Johnny's group called Sexy Zone? Well, as horrible as the group's name is, I can easily name a handful with a worse name.

[Their clothes, so much nicer nowadays, no? Except that blasphemous vest Aiba's got on. Jeez, there's always something weird on someone.]

My problem is the age. When you combine the age with the group name, one question comes to mine, "What the fucking hell?" These kids' balls have yet to drop, they have yet to hit puberty and here they are, calling themselves... THAT and saying that its their aim, to display their sexiness.

[On average, their debut age is two years younger than Arashi's 16, wasn't it? But I believe there's a bigger age gap with the new one. And the members of Arashi wondered why they got the joke of a costume while these kids slid through with roses.]

Kids, what have these adults done to you? Japanese. Tsk tsk tsk. But when they claimed to want to emulate Arashi's success, I find it endearing. It made me proud that the once dud group can now truly claim supreme. No one can deny that with what they have achieved.

[You can tell Aiba's all, "I'm an awesome senior now!" Ahh Aiba.]

While they might not be selling as much, let us not forget their successful concerts, movies and the dramas. It is like a tag team, how they throw out dramas each season. I have to admit that while I collect, I no longer watch. I am saving them for rainy days. Well, more like I really don't feel the pull as intensely.

[Candle Sho. Oh, how your image has been damaged since the olden days when you were the University graduate with like... etiquettes and composure and all sorts of shizzles. Times change. I believe it started around 2006, his decline. During an episode of Shukudai-kun.]

But the variety shows, I watch religiously and have done so all along, even with my absence here. During Nishino Kana's talk, they touched on aromatherapy candles. Sho, disgraceful. Embarrassingly so. xD I remember that topic coming up during VS Arashi.

[And the members, too, are weirded out.]

He thinks its cool, Aromatherapy. No bro, its kinda weird that you gotta fake it.

Candle Sho. Even his members were weirded out. Like, the legend of Candle Sho. xDDD

I still cannot get over that new group's name. Jeez, Sexy Zone. SEXY ZONE, do you know the youngest is 11 years old? I call this the weird-kid-Usher-discovered-effect. Then again, Japan was doing young before the western civilisations did.

[Dear Sho, its not working. I want to laugh when I see your face and remember your fail face during VS Arashi. Fail, Sho. Fail.]

Did you see those dandy dance moves? Were they supposed to draw girls in? What the hell is up with that rose on their microphones? It is a whole new level of weird. Then again, Johnny's had been doing weird since the 1980s. Don't let me bring that up.

These kids are serious brown-nosers, and true that Arashi is at the point where all the others should try that on them. Not that they are the new SMAP. I don't see a single selling two million copies. But in this era, it is hard.

I like how Arashi is actually nice to their juniors though. Remember how KinKi Kids were. Wait, I correct myself, remember how DoTs was? No, wait, SMAP? Well there were friendly moments, but it wasn't Arashi's foolish musings. These really help. Though Jun did say something about KinKi being there helped or something.

Well then again, I am biased. I wonder if they looked at these kids and remember how they were when they first started out. Like with every group, you could tell right away who were the duds and who were the so-called 'stars' with the new one.

Dude, 11 years old. We shall see diapers on stage very soon. Wait for it. And they'll call them sexy poo.

The song, we'll leave the song for if and when I do the PV for Meikyuu. Its okay, but I was actually more hooked on that stupid Sexy Zone song. It is such an embarrassment. Well, what do you expect? It is so catchy!

[Movie] Ooku

2010

If gender roles were reversed and women ruled the world, what would become of the concubines?

While this movie focuses on more than the 'manly' squabbles of the shogunate concubines, I would very much rather focus on the small picture. It is rather intriguing. We will slowly back out to focus on the big picture, but right now, just right now, we will talk about pretty boy squabbles for position and power.

Many times have we watched a movie, a drama serial about the concubines of Imperial China. The Emperor would be the cock in charge (forgive the uncouth language, for the lack of a better word...) and the women will fight each other in an endless (and often deadly) competition for the man's attention. 

Women, their nature is conniving and possessive. It is only natural that they would fight each other for a man's attention. As reality dictates, a woman would fight another woman for a lesser man, much more can be said if it were the Emperor of China. 

Now, imagine if the concubine grew penises. Imagine the concubines' places taken up by a bunch of pretty boys. There you go. What a wonderful idea, no?

Say, an epidemic stormed the land, infecting the men - and only the men. What is left is a surplus of women and suddenly, the roles reversed. The shogun is a woman and hundreds of men are lining up, pining to be in the good graces of the shogun. 

Such is the world in which our central character, Mizuno lives. Forced to abandon his first name when he entered the inner chambers a.k.a. Ooku when prospects were growing thin for a descendent of a samurai, Mizuno found himself in a bizarre world. Male servants of the shogun were ranked by hierarchy of those who were the favourites of the shogun slowly down to the ones whom are not worthy to be seen by her. 

The good thing about a reverse harem of pretty boys is that they can bed a higher ranking pretty boy to leap up. Handy, no? Not necessarily more peaceful than a harem of psychotic women, this offers a different look into an alternate world where for once, women had to pay for sex and they had to do the chasing. Interesting, no?

A wonderfully entertaining watch! Makes me want to get my hands on the manga.