[TV] VS Arashi

21 February 2009

Guests: Golfer chicks. I could go and see their names in that part where they were introduced but I don't quite give a rat's ass about them. Okay, I actually remember that they are Momoko and Shinobu...
So, like, that woman with longer hair is annoying. If you lose, you lose. Big fucking deal, it is not like the end of the world, you know? Get over it. But no, they had to challenge Arashi to a game of golf. Which, I don't mind, by the way. I just have a headache. Headaches make the most adorable puppy look annoying.

Aiba is experienced in golf. Or something. I remember paparazzi piccies of him getting all sweaty while playing golf and took of his shirt in public. Oh, crap, so freakin' sexy, my imaginary self was ready to pounce on him. But of course, if I was there, I would just stare and take a billion pictures and sell them to various magazines because money is good for health.
When Aiba was going at it during the practice, his ass. OMFG THAT ASS. xD That ass. xD I don't know what the man is doing NOT playing golf. If I were Johnny Kitagawa, I'd make him swing that club in front of me ALL THE TIME. xD Right in front of me. xD Then the man got cocky. He had a reason to be, 290 yards is like... uh, I cannot even walk that far without stopping for a while and rest my ass on something.
Jun went next cos apart from Aiba, who is experienced, everyone would expect Jun to do well. The man who rubbed it in everyone's face that he never needed to do auditions. What a cocky ass. xD He swung and he missed the ball. Basically, he was swinging his club into air. I clapped like it was freakin' Christmas and I got a thousand bucks stuffed in my stocking. The look of disbelief on his face. And embarrassment. Hah! With every fanatical Jun fan that I come across, there will be an increase of joy induced in myself when he fails. Cos I am mean like that. 22 yards. xD I know grandmas who can do better.
Sho's attempt got him 103 yards. And he was disappointed with that. xD Jun should be ashamed. But you can tell their roles were reversed when it was the game with the falling pipe. xD xD Yeah, reversed. xD Wait... HOW CAN SHO BE DISAPPOINTED? I mean, isn't he, like, used to failing miserably when it comes to sports. xD
Ohno's attempt was hilarious from the start as he did that thing with his chin. xDDDD That thing. That chin thing. xDDD That gave him 65 yards. xD

Nino got 253 yards. He looked good doing it. xD I tell you, it is that hair. I like that hair.
I am skipping all other insignificant parts to the part where Jun failed miserably horribly terribly and very very embarrassingly.

I shall go out tomorrow and get myself that black cardigan because it goes with my tartan skirt and white shirt. And, I will throw in a tie and a beanie hat. Because Japanese schoolgirl with some overdoing it is cute and I have until 25 to pretend to be cute (That's four more years). Cos Asians still look like teenagers to Caucasians and other westerners in our early twenties because we are Asians. Not that it should matter to anyone, my cardigan.

Oh where was I? Oh, Jun's well deserved embarrassing performance. He swung his club and hit the ball the ball flew... towards the... camera. The box broke. The studio was chaotic as a swing of Jun's club wrecked havoc, the box containing the camera broke. Nino, the stingy cheap midget called out "How much? How much?" Arashi rushed towards the camera and knelt in front of it. Oh but Jun said he "Did not bring a lot of money today..." xDDDDD Fortunately, the camera itself was still working.
I pointed at my screen and I laughed. If I had a giant MatsuJun poster or print of some sort, I would laugh in his face. Because it was embarrassingly funny. And I like it when people fail like that. His second attempt was a bouncing one. xD It bounced before it hit the screen. xDDD One failure after another.

Needless to say, Arashi lost. Now let me go back to watching Tohoshinki's PV because that song is... like... an oasis in the desert. Or something. See, this is what happens when I try to be poetic. Me trying to be poetic is like MatsuJun trying to be Tiger Woods, only, I am better at being poetic.

Yeah and kids, it is about time I state that I corrupt kids like crazy. And that whole thing with the ass... uh, not good for your brain. Go watch Jonas Brothers or something.

1 Farted :: [TV] VS Arashi

  1. Oh my god I just love your articles ! Especially when you make fun of the "perfect" Jun (this one was very hilarious, it's Christmas form me too when he fails lol) and point out all the sexiness and hotness of Aiba-chan (my god that ass, I had the exact same thoughts the whole time !).

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