[Talk] Johnny's Jimusho Is The Devil's Workshop

I am attempting to watch "Urajani" right now.

Its a show by Kanjani8... where they just take you around town and show you people doing weird stuff. Sorta like "CxDxG no Arashi" but a wee bit more serious. *Gets reminded of the shit that Arashi did while playing "Aiba's Sugoroku"*... well, anyone is more serious compared to Arashi.

I think I will bounce back and forth between Arashi and Kanjani8 (With Arashi given more priority because they are fucking insane and we tend to really like people who are fucking insane more than crotch-grabbing people who are mildly insane.)

And... this is just to remind myself that I fucking love Arashi and Kanjani8 will always be a close second.

I forget things fast... so yeah, reminder.

Anyways, I was watching "cartoon KAT-TUN" with Shokotan on it and she made KAT-TUN fun! Its seriously amazing to watch. I am beginning to like her already. Oh, curse this shit.

I know she's this freaky anime otaku who speaks of nothing but anime and crap, but still, she tends to go on shows I like and make morons(*look to the right for my definition of moron for famous people.) out of decent young men and we admire that in her.

I will so cap that episode later.

I think. Well, if I don't feel sick like I am feeling right now.

Oh and yes, Johnny's is the devil's workshop. Manufacturing packaged boybands that make girls become like ME. Said girls are willing to throw their parents' hard earned monay at the skinny monkeys to ensure that they get fed.

Well, yeah, but I live in some hole, so I aspire to spend a bomb on them whenever I can find the opportunity to.

But hats off to Johnny H. Kitagawa for being able to make girls throw monay at him for 40 years or so. Bastard must be drinking from a cup of gold and pissing into a golden toilet bowl right now. (Diamond encrusted golden toilet bowl.)

To add shit to the pile of shit, each band releases an average of 2 singles per year. Throw in the DVD sales and those useless official photos that fangirls buy, the uchiwa, the money they earn from being spokespersons or appearing in an advertisement, the TV shows, the concerts, dramas, movies.

Its a fucking solid gold-egg-laying hen. And the hen is big and it will stay.

I know what they say the golden age of Johnny's is back in the 70s-80s... but never has so many groups coexist in the industry as there are now.

We have Shounentai still doing their "Playzone", we have Kondo Masahiko trying desperately for a comeback by trying to be all rockerish and stuff, we have SMAP, being at the pinnacle of success that all the other boys are targeting, we have V6, um... well... stuff, we have Arashi, still doing crap although they are nearing 30 (but we cannot really judge them, since V6 is still doing crap.), we have TOKIO, being more successful than ever, we have NewS, unstable as their sales are, they are doing great, we have Kanjani8, all gay and stuff, which strikes the fancy of not only Kansai chicks, but Tokyo is taking a liking to them as well, then there's KAT-TUN, going on the path of sluttiness, and doing very well at that, then there's KinKi Kids, still gay as ever... Tackey and Tsubasa... well Tsubasa dances really sexily (What? His ass is really hot okay?) and then finally, we have Hey! Say! JUMP, prepuberty boys starting out early in the business. Just watch, in about 3 years' time (Or sooner) we will see them walking down that very path of sluttiness that KAT-TUN walked. They already aspire to be like KAT-TUN. Its the way kids like their men nowadays, all slutty and stuff. I see it in them already, especially that Yabu dude. He has slutty potential. But how could they corrupt Chinen like that? Chinen will keep to his idolization of Ohno Satoshi and be more like him.

How to be like Ohno Satoshi:
  1. First you have to eat expired food and convince yourself its nice.
  2. "Umai" is the only thing that can be uttered after you taste something.
  3. Your ass is up for grasps.
  4. Fighting Nakai is a must. (I want to see that if HSJ ever goes on Utaban!!!)
  5. Fishing is the world's most interesting past time.
  6. Find yourself a Nino.
Okay that was kinda lame, but whatever.

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