[Movie] Ooku

2010

If gender roles were reversed and women ruled the world, what would become of the concubines?

While this movie focuses on more than the 'manly' squabbles of the shogunate concubines, I would very much rather focus on the small picture. It is rather intriguing. We will slowly back out to focus on the big picture, but right now, just right now, we will talk about pretty boy squabbles for position and power.

Many times have we watched a movie, a drama serial about the concubines of Imperial China. The Emperor would be the cock in charge (forgive the uncouth language, for the lack of a better word...) and the women will fight each other in an endless (and often deadly) competition for the man's attention. 

Women, their nature is conniving and possessive. It is only natural that they would fight each other for a man's attention. As reality dictates, a woman would fight another woman for a lesser man, much more can be said if it were the Emperor of China. 

Now, imagine if the concubine grew penises. Imagine the concubines' places taken up by a bunch of pretty boys. There you go. What a wonderful idea, no?

Say, an epidemic stormed the land, infecting the men - and only the men. What is left is a surplus of women and suddenly, the roles reversed. The shogun is a woman and hundreds of men are lining up, pining to be in the good graces of the shogun. 

Such is the world in which our central character, Mizuno lives. Forced to abandon his first name when he entered the inner chambers a.k.a. Ooku when prospects were growing thin for a descendent of a samurai, Mizuno found himself in a bizarre world. Male servants of the shogun were ranked by hierarchy of those who were the favourites of the shogun slowly down to the ones whom are not worthy to be seen by her. 

The good thing about a reverse harem of pretty boys is that they can bed a higher ranking pretty boy to leap up. Handy, no? Not necessarily more peaceful than a harem of psychotic women, this offers a different look into an alternate world where for once, women had to pay for sex and they had to do the chasing. Interesting, no?

A wonderfully entertaining watch! Makes me want to get my hands on the manga.

[Movie] Yatterman

2009

Starring: Sakurai Sho, Fukuda Saki, Fukada Kyoko, Namase Katsuhisa, Kobayashi Kendo, Okamoto Anri, Abe Sadawo...

Once upon a time, there was this Skull Stone which was split into four pieces and legend has it that whoever who is able to unite all four pieces will have a dream of theirs miraculously come true.

The self-proclaimed god of theives, Dokurobei, sent his underlings, the Dorombo gang, after the pieces. The trio had to face off against the two Yatterma(e)n who was hell bent on protecting Shoko, the daughter of the archaeologist Kaeida, who was on a quest to find all four stones himself.

Yatterman #1, Gan-chan, the only son of a toy store owner and Yatterman #2 Ai-chan are a pair of crime-fighting sweethearts. They fight evil with the gadgets they made in their underground lair which was the birth place of Yatterwan and Omotchama.

Their arch enemy, the Dorombo gang is made up of the gorgeous femme fatale Doronjo, Boyacky who adores Doronjo and Tonzra, the glutton. The three are always up to no good as Yatterman tried to put their evil to rest.

Meanwhile, various things are disappearing mysteriously... what does this have anything to do with the much sought-after Skull Stone? Will Dokurobei's attempt to collect all four pieces of the Skull Stone? Or will Yatterman manage to stop them from it?

*****

Dude, this is the most weird-ass movie I've watched in a while. I don't even know what to say. I'd have thought that the target audience is the kids... then there are the many not-so-suitable-for-kids scenes. Like that big-ass robot with big-ass boobies. Jeez.

I am not familiar with the anime series. So I can't comment much about the story or the characters and how well the actor played them. What I can comment on is... Gan-chan is supposed to be a teenage boy right? Fine, fine... I'll let that go.

I guess the movie is made to be comical. The whole thing is exaggerated, that includes the outfits, the reactions, the acting, the CGI. I really am not sure how much I like this movie. I am slightly entertained by it, but it is no masterpiece, of that I am sure.

Little is focused on the acting as the CG effects take center stage, the protagonists are bland and boring while the Dorombo gang are just plain retarded. Just who are the target audience of this movie? Too juvenile for adults, too sexed up for kids.

Why all the fuss over the movie? That, I am not sure. Maybe it seemed like it was a big fuss because Sho was starring in it. Maybe because it is Yatterman. Miike Takashi? Not sure. But it is most probably overrated. I was, however, rooting for Doronjo and Gan-chan. Though it was dead obvious that the Yatterma(e)n were going to stick. How boring is that?

Reitings: 2/5 (On account of the really neat CGIs.)

[Movie] PikaNchi Life is Hard Dakedo Happy

2002

Starring: Aiba Masaki, Matsumoto Jun, Ninomiya Kazunari, Ohno Satoshi, Sakurai Sho...

Below is the full summary of the movie because it is the freakin' best Arashi movie ever. Spoilers are, of course, included.

This movie tells the story of five final year highschoolers who live in the town of Yashio. In this suburban community of Yashio, these five teenagers who were going to have to choose their paths in life after school made a 'daring' excursion to Harajuku, Tokyo - a famous district where youngsters loiter around. With their main objective being to flirt and pick up girls, the five boys - Shun, Bon, Takuma, Haru and Chu wandered around the streets of Harajuku.

In the few hours that they five spent in Harajuku, they had encounters with various happenings which will be rather significant later in the movie. Apparently, for the people of Yashio, the journey that one embarks on to Tokyo is a perilous one and the danger is multiplied when it comes to places such as Shibuya and Harajuku. The fivesome marched on to Harajuku regardless of the 'danger' for the third time.

Chu, a yankee who dropped out of highschool after behaving violently towards a teacher who molested a girl he had crush on, went to Harajuku to deliver a karate-like performance. Chu decided that he is a human weapon and broke a lot of tiles on the streets of Harajuku.

Haru, a nerdy and strange boy who saved up his money for his Harajuku trip by doing a part-time job of delivering newspapers for months met a woman with large breasts. The woman later tried to sell Haru a piece of lousy painting and managed to swindle Haru's money away.

Takuma, a leader-figure of the group who was the first to bring a skateboard into Yashio after a prior Harajuku expedition, decided to flaunt his skills in a larger arena - that being Harajuku. While he was doing that, a group of skateboarders whose skills are way beyond Takuma's opened his eyes. He later learned that it is in California that the pro skateboarders are at and that he is no match for skaters out there.

Bon, a boy who lives on the 'rich' block in Yashio whose father runs a bar full of Vietnamese workers has had a fascination for crepes since their previous visit to Harajuku. This time around, Bon decided to set up a stall to sell crepes made by himself. Near the end of their visit, Bon got beaten up by local gangsters and the money he earned from selling crepes were taken away from him.

Shun, the narrator of the movie, who considers himself average as compared to the others in the group, stayed true to their original objective - to pick up girls. After approaching many girls and failed to pick up one, he finally met the girl of his dreams, Miku. Shun and Miku would later continue to go on dates after Shun returns to Yashio.

When they returned to Yashio, Haru met the girl of his dreams but was seduced by her mother instead, Chu faced many decisions as the leader of Samezu clan, Bon's father started to groom him into taking over his business by making him teach Vietnamese children names of food, Takuma's unhappy mother who was no longer willing to live in poverty finally left his father who descended into a state of depression, Shun continued to date the girl who casually suggested that Shun try to enter the prestigious Aoyama University.

With that, Shun's quest to improve his grades to enter said university began. Worrying that Shun would become one of the drunk adults who party on boats - people whom the five pledge to never turn into - the rest confronted Shun. They were also unhappy that Shun went to first base with his girlfriend (xD teenage boys...) without their knowledge and will be leaving if he is accepted to Aogaku. With this, Shun parted ways with the rest and went on with his betrayal by studying hard to enter the university to please his girlfriend. Also, Shun decided that he wanted out of the small town, sheltered life in Yashio while the rest deserted him for moving on.

One fine day, Shun called for a meeting and vowed that he would sink the boat to prove that he won't be one of the drunkard salarymen like those on board the boat. When the night of the plan arrives, Shun delivered his promise and one by one, the others joined in Shun's efforts to sink the boat. In the process of doing so, Shun saw his girlfriend working as one of the hostesses on the boat. Disappointed, Shun decided that it didn't matter whether he entered Aogaku or not.

When the five were done with Operation Fuurinkazan (as Shun named it), the ecstatic group returned to Takuma's apartment to find Takuma's father, hanged to death. The other four decided to accompany Takuma throughout the night.

The next day, Shun woke up to realize that he was running late to the entrance exam of Aogaku. The rest encouraged him to make a run for it and that he was their hope to break out of the shelter that they have been held in all their lives. Chu rushed Shun to Aogaku and reminded him that he now bears the responsibility of making the law that obliges women to go topless into the community pool - a legacy bestowed upon him by Bon who initially brought up the idea when he thought he was going to study abroad.

Towards the end, Takuma decided that he would head for California to become a pro at skateboarding. The other four bade him goodbye and so ends the story of five idiotic, horny teenagers from Yashio.

*****

I am in doubts about where to begin with this movie. When I first watched it, I had a lot of questions in my mind. It is not a particularly good script, bad acting, especially Aiba, strange storyline too, above all strange reasoning to the plot. It took me some time to understand that with Arashi, you don't need reason. Just go with the flow. And blame it on Inocchi. Inocchi came up with the story. Inocchi of V6. If Sakamoto is the father of V6 and Nagano is the mother. Kamisen would be the younger triplets and Inocchi would be the retarded elder brother.

And Arashi decided that, hey lets star in the movie that Inocchi came up with. Thus, this piece of crack was the result of Inocchi's attempt at thinking.

But to say it was crack will not be entirely accurate. If you want to be all brainy about it, we can look at it from another perspective. These five teenagers are from a town that is all to itself, detached from Honshu. And being from a small town myself, I can understand that it takes a lot of guts to just head off and take a chance outside. While I am studying in a local university, I hope that someday, I can find employment opportunities elsewhere and see things other than this place that I grew up in. Shun's struggle with his studies, though at the beginning was for all the wrong reasons, towards the end, when the other four said that he is their hope to break out of the shell that they live it. I can comprehend the fact that perhaps there is an underlying seriousness to the plot after all.

Of course, this movie, above all, is about friendship. Highschool could be a lot of fun. It is the time when you are almost independent yet you still have a bit of immaturity - enough to play stupid pranks and do silly things just for the heck of it. I had that period of time. Now, I barely see my friends regardless of whether they are here or not. It is life. The five of them, they went on a lot of adventures together, their trips to Harajuku, sinking ships, watching porn together. They stuck by each other through hard times. It is very sweet. And then Takuma left. People leave to find their place on earth. Life goes on. You go on and search for your place on earth. And if you have watched the second movie, you realize that some of them found their place... xD But that can wait...

The comedy in the movie is amazingly outrageous, crazy and above all, hilarious. From the meaningless things they did at Harajuku to their absurd resolutions of having girls swim topless in the pool to their bare asses which they flashed at the people on the boat. Well, Japanese cinema had always had a bizarre edge to them, this is not the weirdest I have seen.

Now... I am taking time off as the regular movie-watcher and transform into the Arashi fangirl. Pardon me. I know they are trying to make them look like your average, not so hot highschool boys. But what the fuck did they do with Aiba Masaki? Aiba has delicate features. Features that if you don't handle them well, can be a total trainwreck. But Aiba Masaki (to me) at his best, outshines even MatsuJun. But that is just me. But his acting is totally fake and it is so bad, it is non-laughable. Now when someone asks why Aiba is not in a drama/movie, shove this into their mouth. I haven't seen one of his plays so I cannot comment on how far he's grown. But in "Kiiroi Namida"... he has clearly made progress.

Ohno's Haru... is the one that is extremely odd. I don't get him. I don't get his character. Perhaps he's just a bit slow or something. But he is very adorable. Haru is just like Ohno, except dumb and even more spaced out. He, like Chu, is not the one in the spotlight in this movie but in the second installment, Haru will play a bigger role while Shun moves to the backseat.

Jun's character is a total gem. From his hilarious exclamations of "Jesus" to him calling really ugly broads "kawaii" to him being 'excited' even as the porn video showed a buffed man. His wide grin was something that was absent for a long time until recent years. And he was smiling for the most part of this movie. His combover (that is not attempted to cover any bald spots) suited him so well, no words can explain it. xD His costume of endless polo shirts and vests was perfect for his suburban rich-boy character.

Sho's Chu was probably the one with the biggest transformation. A fulltime yankee with that typical yankee hairstyle and he also sported a scar near his right eye. The way he speaks. It is not the best acting, but it sure is entertaining. But I feel that his character lacks a storyline. He's a yankee who dropped out of school. That is about all.

Takuma as portrayed by Nino is probably the character that bears the most similarities to the actor. Takuma is the leader and I always thought that Nino is the shadow leader of Arashi in the sense that when Nino speaks, it matters. Numerous times I have seen Nino asking another member to eat yucky food or perform a task and the members would just proceed with barely any protests. Takuma is Nino, only a bit more angry, a bit less gay and very poor.

Overall, it is good entertainment. I won't rave about how good the movie is, but it is a very entertaining one. Odd, funny, but it comes with its own heartfelt moments and something to convey. If I have to guess... it would be youthful insanity and friendship.

That's my second review of the movie. The first one didn't do it justice. So I spent the entire night rewatching and typing this. Ah... the feeling of accomplishment.

Reitings: 4/5 (Because I am biased...)

[Movie] Boku no Kanojo wa Cyborg

2008

Starring: Ayase Haruka, Koide Keisuke...

Kitamura Jirou was a lonely young man who had always celebrated his birthday by himself. He bought a present for himself, all nicely wrapped up and he ate spaghetti by himself at the same restaurant every year. But it was different the year before the storyline began as a flashback told us that the year before, Jirou met a a sweet, active, smiley happy girl when he was buying an Ayanami Rei figurine for himself. The two had a large meal together and escaped without paying. (Well, the woman ate, mainly. Jirou had his spaghetti and that was probably it.)

After escaping the restaurant's maitre d' who chased after them when they left without paying, Jirou spent a few strange but joyful hours with the girl and then they never met again. That was until his birthday the following year. He had a hunch that he would meet her again and meet her, he did, at the same restaurant. But the girl seem different, more frigid and unfeeling. The smile she was carrying around with her the year before was gone.

When the two were eating at a restaurant, a gunman attacked the restaurant and with superhuman strength and speed, the mysterious girl managed to get rid of the gunman. After they reached Jirou's house, the girl, through hologram produced by her eyes, sent Jirou a message from an old man who turned out to be Jirou himself, 65 years later. According to the future him, Jirou was supposed to be heavily injured that night, by the gunman's bullets, but he build a cyborg in the shape and form of the mysterious girl the year before and sent her back to save her. The future Jirou encouraged Jirou to live his life without regret and also that he could make the cyborg more human-like as they interact more. He also learned that he will face another great disaster in the future and it was hoped that the cyborg will help him overcome that as well.

And so begins the story of Jirou and his cyborg girlfriend.

*****

I heart Ayase Haruka. I'd kill to look like her. Spoilers begin.

Koike Keisuke's character in this movie is very endearing. Koide Keisuke has never been memorable for me. I have seen him in three movies and four dramas and because he is not hot in a way that stops you in your steps if you see him pass by, I missed him in everyone of these works as he played the sidekick dude or some minor character in these works of his that I have watched. His character in Nodame Cantabile was~ uh, you won't know it was him unless you look it up. xD Anyways, it is not that he's a bad actor, but probably a bit understated.

That aside, this is a really nice movie. I haven't seen a nice movie in a while. A nice movie that stands by itself with no strings attached (no prequels, no drama version.) I truly enjoyed it. It is sweetly romantic and very heartwarming. Irrealistic but the human-side of it is very moving. You get attached to things, even if you know you shouldn't. I got attached to crap like my textbook from past semesters, so it is very reasonable that Jirou would be attached to a cyborg who helped made his life so convenient and looks like Ayase Haruka and does so much for him. Despite her being... not human. I'd understand his disappointment when she doesn't understand his feelings.

And Ayase Haruka's acting in here is not bad at all. It is not like the pretty girl, but the pretty, fake expression cyborg. Some of her body actions are verging on robotic, which is good, considering the fact that she is playing a cyborg. You can see how her character grows more humanlike throughout her stay with Jirou. I love this character so much. She was created to serve and save this man. And she did so without fail. Even if the man vented his frustration of not having his feelings reciprocated by her on her. It is not like she did not want to feel for him. She's a freakin' cyborg for goodness sake.

My favourite scene is the one where the Cyborg girlfriend brought him back through a timeslip, to his hometown before it was burnt to ashes. Jirou was just looking around, reminiscing old times, seeing old friends and family when the Cyborg girlfriend just stood by and watched with a look of satisfaction on her face. It is as if her joy is to watch Jirou be happy. It was a very touching scene.

The ending is a tear-jerker and halfway through, I was wondering, who was that girl in the flashback who appeared so much more human than the cyborg and the ending explained everything perfectly. I love these movies where when you start to wonder if some scenes are just not going to be explained and then in the end, you go "AH~~~".

I love, love, love this movie. I love these moving romance flicks. OH MY GOODNESS I LIKE CHICK FLICKS. I LIKE CHICK FLICKS. I always thought I didn't. I read crime, mysteries instead of romance. My copy of "Wuthering Heights" is gathering dust on my shelf. I watched "Pulp Fiction" repeatedly and not "Titanic". But... that means squat because I now realize that I love chick flicks. That is a freakin' revelation.

I bawled like a five-year-old spoiled brat whose daddy wouldn't buy her a Barbie doll. What a disgrace. T_T But then it is not like it is unprecedented.

Just one thing. The timeline thing is confusing me. It is because of the earthquake and gunman incident that Jirou sent the cyborg back to save himself. Had Jirou not been hurt because the cyborg saved him, Jirou would still recreate the cyborg because she was and is clearly, the love of his life. But had the girl from the future who looks like the cyborg came back after the earthquake to live with him, then Jirou would have no incentive to recreate the earthquake. Which means that the cyborg would not have been created and subsequently could not be sent back to the past (2008) to save Jirou which means that Jirou would have had to be shot by the gunman AND suffered a lot of injuries in the earthquake right? But then, if we look at it from another perspective, the cyborg already saved Jirou and thus the past is the past. But then~ like, okay, you know? I give up. I think a lot of these crap everytime I watch a movie that involves traveling through time. Mostly I just confuse myself even more.

Perhaps I just have to kick back and enjoy the movie, which I did, tremendously. I would categorize this among the must-watch. I haven't watched such a good movie in a long time. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would recommend it to people, that is, if they asked for recommendations.

Reitings: 4.5/5

P.S. I know I am supposed to go on a hiatus or something. But I had a really tiring day. So I slept through the evening. Now I am wide awake. So I watched a movie. And it turned out to be this movie which is too great to not blog about. xD