[TV] VS Arashi

21 February 2009

Guests: Golfer chicks. I could go and see their names in that part where they were introduced but I don't quite give a rat's ass about them. Okay, I actually remember that they are Momoko and Shinobu...

So, like, that woman with longer hair is annoying. If you lose, you lose. Big fucking deal, it is not like the end of the world, you know? Get over it. But no, they had to challenge Arashi to a game of golf. Which, I don't mind, by the way. I just have a headache. Headaches make the most adorable puppy look annoying.

Aiba is experienced in golf. Or something. I remember paparazzi piccies of him getting all sweaty while playing golf and took of his shirt in public. Oh, crap, so freakin' sexy, my imaginary self was ready to pounce on him. But of course, if I was there, I would just stare and take a billion pictures and sell them to various magazines because money is good for health.

When Aiba was going at it during the practice, his ass. OMFG THAT ASS. xD That ass. xD I don't know what the man is doing NOT playing golf. If I were Johnny Kitagawa, I'd make him swing that club in front of me ALL THE TIME. xD Right in front of me. xD Then the man got cocky. He had a reason to be, 290 yards is like... uh, I cannot even walk that far without stopping for a while and rest my ass on something.

Jun went next cos apart from Aiba, who is experienced, everyone would expect Jun to do well. The man who rubbed it in everyone's face that he never needed to do auditions. What a cocky ass. xD He swung and he missed the ball. Basically, he was swinging his club into air. I clapped like it was freakin' Christmas and I got a thousand bucks stuffed in my stocking. The look of disbelief on his face. And embarrassment. Hah! With every fanatical Jun fan that I come across, there will be an increase of joy induced in myself when he fails. Cos I am mean like that. 22 yards. xD I know grandmas who can do better.

Sho's attempt got him 103 yards. And he was disappointed with that. xD Jun should be ashamed. But you can tell their roles were reversed when it was the game with the falling pipe. xD xD Yeah, reversed. xD Wait... HOW CAN SHO BE DISAPPOINTED? I mean, isn't he, like, used to failing miserably when it comes to sports. xD

Ohno's attempt was hilarious from the start as he did that thing with his chin. xDDDD That thing. That chin thing. xDDD That gave him 65 yards. xD

Nino got 253 yards. He looked good doing it. xD I tell you, it is that hair. I like that hair.

I am skipping all other insignificant parts to the part where Jun failed miserably horribly terribly and very very embarrassingly.

I shall go out tomorrow and get myself that black cardigan because it goes with my tartan skirt and white shirt. And, I will throw in a tie and a beanie hat. Because Japanese schoolgirl with some overdoing it is cute and I have until 25 to pretend to be cute (That's four more years). Cos Asians still look like teenagers to Caucasians and other westerners in our early twenties because we are Asians. Not that it should matter to anyone, my cardigan.

Oh where was I? Oh, Jun's well deserved embarrassing performance. He swung his club and hit the ball the ball flew... towards the... camera. The box broke. The studio was chaotic as a swing of Jun's club wrecked havoc, the box containing the camera broke. Nino, the stingy cheap midget called out "How much? How much?" Arashi rushed towards the camera and knelt in front of it. Oh but Jun said he "Did not bring a lot of money today..." xDDDDD Fortunately, the camera itself was still working.

I pointed at my screen and I laughed. If I had a giant MatsuJun poster or print of some sort, I would laugh in his face. Because it was embarrassingly funny. And I like it when people fail like that. His second attempt was a bouncing one. xD It bounced before it hit the screen. xDDD One failure after another.

Needless to say, Arashi lost. Now let me go back to watching Tohoshinki's PV because that song is... like... an oasis in the desert. Or something. See, this is what happens when I try to be poetic. Me trying to be poetic is like MatsuJun trying to be Tiger Woods, only, I am better at being poetic.

Yeah and kids, it is about time I state that I corrupt kids like crazy. And that whole thing with the ass... uh, not good for your brain. Go watch Jonas Brothers or something.

[TV] VS Arashi

14 February 2009

Guests: Some pro-golfers

O_o I haven't been doing a lot of updating. xD It is unusual for me... but I have been busy (in my head)... a lot of things to sort through and the insomnia... when you have insomnia, you just feel tired all the time but then you try to sleep and then all you can do is lie on the fucking bed and THINK about sleeping but you cannot really sleep. Busy, busy, busy. That plus insomnia, is not good. But then there's the sudden The Carpenters phase... Okay, I am done ranting.

So there are these two golfer chicks going on the show on Valentine's day and Arashi shamelessly asked for chocolates, to their disappointment, they got none (at least from these two). Lets call them Shinobu and Momoko. Arashi later learned that Shinobu is a big fan of them and went to watch two of their concerts, one of which was held in Shanghai. (xD A Japanese going to China to watch a Japanese group perform. That is like a Brit going to Brazil to see.. Queen Elizabeth II.) They MADE Shinobu choose her favourite, at first she was reluctant and said she liked everyone. Then Nino was like "We'll use that answer for O.A." They made her choose again, and she said Jun (again... oh well, can't help it.)

Her decision would soon cause a backlash as she faces off with Nino in the Rolling Coin Tower corner. That comes later. Cliff-climb comes first. Sho gave stupid advice... and then later, he was ignored by the voice person. You know, the voice person... xD The announcer dude. xD I get crazy-turned-on when I watch this game. Especially when the men climb it with gusto and... uh... sexiness. So far, twice (including this time) Aiba and once Sho, I was really entertained. It is pretty impressive. This time, Aiba did great, with about 5 of the grips taken away, he still did better than that time when Jun failed miserably. In this game, you practically cannot aim for all and still manage to go to the top in time. I have thoughts, in my mind. Everytime I watch them do a nice climb, I have thoughts.... xDDD What?

Secondly, the Rolling Coin Tower, Nino declared that he will not take it easy on the girls... xD That was because Shinobu chose Jun as her favourite. He said if she had chosen himself, 'accidents' might happen and he proceeded to demonstrate how he could have dropped the coins and stuff. xD Hilarious. Oh, Sho gave stupid advice yet again. xD Oh and Ohmiya held hands... or at least Nino held Ohno's hands... a bit. xD It was Valentine's... Public Display of Affection (PDA) highly encouraged. Even if it wasn't filmed on Valentine's Day...

During the Falling Pipe game... Sho's face... he was doing the villain face or something. xD That face... xDDD Jun was mean to Shinobu... xD who was disappointed with Arashi. xD Well boys are mean. They pull your pigtails back in kindy and wouldn't let you touch their stuff because of cooties. Or something. She was like "Arashi is cold..." Nino was like "You bet..." xD Next was Ohno versus Momoko. Nino was all "Even if you fail, we can defeat them later... so just... do whatever..." And Ohno made a 'whatever' face and just chose two without much deliberation. Nino asked Momoko to give Ohno 10 thousand yen so that Ohno can advice her on it. Momoko agreed. Ohno said that he'd advise her only after he received the monay. xDDDD Okay, you know, it is not funny if you have to explain the joke. ^^ Nevermind.

So, the girls lost and proposed that Arashi do golf with them (since they're pro golfers) because they hate losing.

Sho: How was it?
Girls: No fun.
Sho: WTF.
Girls: We are pro golfers...
Sho: We know that.
Girls: How about a game of golf?
Ohno: So we decide the winner based on golf?
Girls: Yeah, would you?
Nino: Our Aiba is experienced.
Aiba: Just a teeny bit. But considering how well we're doing... we might win.
Sho: I understand. Next week, we'll do golf!

The next episode will be a special. The preview showed Aiba doing great in golf (he is the experienced on...) and Jun hitting the cameraman. xDDD It will be funny.