[Movie] Yatterman

2009

Starring: Sakurai Sho, Fukuda Saki, Fukada Kyoko, Namase Katsuhisa, Kobayashi Kendo, Okamoto Anri, Abe Sadawo...

Once upon a time, there was this Skull Stone which was split into four pieces and legend has it that whoever who is able to unite all four pieces will have a dream of theirs miraculously come true.

The self-proclaimed god of theives, Dokurobei, sent his underlings, the Dorombo gang, after the pieces. The trio had to face off against the two Yatterma(e)n who was hell bent on protecting Shoko, the daughter of the archaeologist Kaeida, who was on a quest to find all four stones himself.

Yatterman #1, Gan-chan, the only son of a toy store owner and Yatterman #2 Ai-chan are a pair of crime-fighting sweethearts. They fight evil with the gadgets they made in their underground lair which was the birth place of Yatterwan and Omotchama.

Their arch enemy, the Dorombo gang is made up of the gorgeous femme fatale Doronjo, Boyacky who adores Doronjo and Tonzra, the glutton. The three are always up to no good as Yatterman tried to put their evil to rest.

Meanwhile, various things are disappearing mysteriously... what does this have anything to do with the much sought-after Skull Stone? Will Dokurobei's attempt to collect all four pieces of the Skull Stone? Or will Yatterman manage to stop them from it?

*****

Dude, this is the most weird-ass movie I've watched in a while. I don't even know what to say. I'd have thought that the target audience is the kids... then there are the many not-so-suitable-for-kids scenes. Like that big-ass robot with big-ass boobies. Jeez.

I am not familiar with the anime series. So I can't comment much about the story or the characters and how well the actor played them. What I can comment on is... Gan-chan is supposed to be a teenage boy right? Fine, fine... I'll let that go.

I guess the movie is made to be comical. The whole thing is exaggerated, that includes the outfits, the reactions, the acting, the CGI. I really am not sure how much I like this movie. I am slightly entertained by it, but it is no masterpiece, of that I am sure.

Little is focused on the acting as the CG effects take center stage, the protagonists are bland and boring while the Dorombo gang are just plain retarded. Just who are the target audience of this movie? Too juvenile for adults, too sexed up for kids.

Why all the fuss over the movie? That, I am not sure. Maybe it seemed like it was a big fuss because Sho was starring in it. Maybe because it is Yatterman. Miike Takashi? Not sure. But it is most probably overrated. I was, however, rooting for Doronjo and Gan-chan. Though it was dead obvious that the Yatterma(e)n were going to stick. How boring is that?

Reitings: 2/5 (On account of the really neat CGIs.)

[TV] 60th Kouhaku

31 December 2009

This is a freaking 4-hour show. And enka scares me. So I'll just do a few~ because they're singing older songs... some of them. It is not a summary of the year's music scene like the other year-end specials. They sang older songs as well and some songs are so great, you won't get bored.


Ayu opened the show. I had a strange dream about her and it was nothing good so I'll just shut up. Does her face not look weird nowadays? It isn't the aging, it is something else. I dunno, she reminds me of Madonna nowadays, and she's a bit too young to remind me of Madonna.

There's AKB 48. Happy, jumping teenage girls. I know my teenage years was just... 3 years ago (T_T) but still I feel like I'm so far away from that... teenage mindset now that I just cannot relate to the whole teenage thing. Like, my peers are reading fucking Twilight, jeez. And they go "Squeeeeeeee so hooooooooooooooooooooooot" and I roll my eyes. "River" is a nice song. So yeah, and cute outfits too.


TOKIO with "Taiyou to Sabaku no Bara". Have I mentioned I love this song? Not enough eh? I love this song. I find it very... nostalgic. It just gives off the vibe of an old song. I hate Nagase's hair. Can't he cut it or something?

There's flumpool. Can the bassist actually see? I mean... can he?


Ikimonogakari's "YELL" is a nice song. The girl can sing!

I am so into Studio Ghibli nowadays. I just watched "Gake no ue no Ponyo". I noticed that their productions usually have this rather abrupt ending. Ponyo scares me when she is in the midst of changing from the fishy to girl. The face... are you sure this is for kids? But the girl annoys me. Somewhat.


That's a fucking birdcage on her dress. When I first saw it, I was like "No Shit". And then I rubbed my eyes and looked again. WTF. Seriously... a birdcage, on a dress? What is this? Haute couture?

Remioromen singing "Konayuki" and it is a good, good song. They probably cannot achieve a success of that level ever again. They are like a... two-hit-wonder. =D


Susan Boyle escorted to the center stage by KimuTaku. The performance as nothing as moving compared to her audition. Her audition was a big fuss because no one saw it coming. No one foresaw that she could sing. And they were laughing and rolling her eyes and when she truly brought it, everyone was cheering. That was why she was such a sensation. A bit too hyped up, but still.

"Kowarekake no Radio" is one of those really good Japanese songs, but it is also old. When someone performs a song from 20 years ago at such a big event, you know that they probably will be known for that song alone in the future.


Perfume with "One Room Disco". Kashiyuka's outfits are always cute. The song's not bad. Like the outfit better.

Tohoshinki with "Stand By You"... so are they broken up yet? If so, why are they performing together? What's with the hooblah about the three on the left suing the company or something?


I am sorry, but I am so out of touch with their news. They just seem a bit bland nowadays that I really don't bother anymore. The song's not bad, not something that leaves a strong impression on my head and I am not being biased okay? I listen to AKB 48 now. If I want to be biased, I'd be biased about THAT instead. I welcome good music. Unless this crazyass psycho bitch from work decides to release an album. Doubt anyone would buy that, considering the fact that she's a 3 feet tall midgety bitch with bad hair and is really not hot. Bitch. I am ranting.


WOOOOOOOOOO work it, SMAP! I've never seen anything better from SMAP in recent years. This is the result of them having practiced their performance. Most of their performance sorta just showed that they don't quite give a shit anymore about coordination and accuracy. This proved that they could still bring it if they want to! The crotch grabbing, the moonwalk, the "Smooth Criminal" move. Of course the choreography ha to be given some credit too, but it is refreshing to see SMAP being passionate about a performance again. This is something for the books! I've never seen a sexier Nakai.


Koda Kumi should dress her age. When I learned that she was born in 1982, I had the shock of my life and I stared into space for two whole minutes wondering what went wrong and why does she look 30. That was three years ago and she was... 24. She should dress her age, because she is very pretty and has nice boobies.

Misono.... was wearing a nice dress. She was only there on account of Kuu anyway.


Arashi performed... about four songs that night. Was it four? I dunno, I couldn't focus on the screen when Jun started to go down to shake hands like he's Hatoyama and when Nino went all "Kouhaku Utagassen TANOSHII". I was like wtf wtf wtf weird!


Don't like Aiba's hair. Don't like his hair fluffy with parting, fluffy without parting is okay though. Don't like how red the outfit was. I usually like the red and black combo but... there should be more black than red. No matter what is the new black, black is always awesome.


I think Nino is gay. And I think Ohno should really take it easy with the fishing. Even if he uses a ton of whitening products, if he keeps going fishing at the rate that he was last year, it wouldn't be any good, really. Tanned is fine, looking like you slept on the toaster is another whole different thing.


There was this part, when Sho was dancing to "Believe"... and his hair was kinda messed up as he swung his head around. Totally the sex. I like the way Nakai waved them over. Of course, Arashi's interview was cut short by the surprise appearance of Yazawa Eikichi.



That's Yazawa Eikichi, apparently he's a legend. Way before my time. Oh well, dude's ancient. Ayaka gave her last performance before taking a long, long break to treat her illness. She'll be fine, cos Mizushima's there. Now who wouldn't want to be fine and live a long healthy life if they're married to Mizushima Hiro?!

White won. Dicks won. Almost all the time. Lemme search a bit. They won for the past five years. Hmm... that's the longest winning streak in history.

[SP] Saigo no Yakusoku

9 January 2010

Starring: Ohno Satoshi, Sakurai Sho, Aiba Masaki, Ninomiya Kazunari, Matsumoto Jun, Kuroki Meisa, Fujiki Naohito, Otsuka Nene...

This Tanpatsu drama is about the hijacking of a building belonging to a Pharmaceutical company with hundreds of employees. The drama focuses on five young men trapped in the building when the hijacking took place.

Satoru, an annoyed, overly tanned, cleaner. He spent most of the 90 minutes of the hijacking in the air duct with his colleague who is good at picking locks.

Yukio, a persistent Insurance agent who was just about to give up pestering Fuyuko (an employee) to invest in his insurance policy.

A barista named Akira just made a mistake with the customers' orders when the hijackers took action. Noticing that something was wrong, Akira hid in a toilet cubicle as he contacted the cops.

In the security control room, Shoji was overlooking the tight security system of the building with his lazy smartass boss, Shinichiro.

Nozomu was just in the building by chance, sending a package to the daughter of the president of the company, Yuriko. Yuriko lashed out at Nozomu when the package he sent was less than what she expected.

What unfolded was 90 minutes of thrill and suspense as these five young men worked hard at their respective aims, whether it is to walk out of the building alive or to help a hot damsel in distress or to perform his job well so as to have a clear conscience. Will they be able to survive the hijack and what was the intent of the hijackers when they committed such a crime?

Err... there's that suspense-creating question at the end of the synopsis. Cool eh?

*****

Whoa! Whoa! If the criminals had a better reason to hijack the building, this drama would've been that much better. The reason was lame, but how unpredictable the whole thing was really wowed me. I really prided myself as someone who has watched a lot of dramas and movies and was almost always able to spot the big kaboom before it happens. But this time, I missed. I missed by 3/5 of it.

Nino was as usual, impressive. The facial expressions, the body language, everything! He's amazing. Ohno wasn't bad either. Jun was mediocre. But I had to cringe sometimes, especially during Sho's and Aiba's scenes. Aiba's towards the end, the man can play stupid alright, but not determined. Sho's was... okay, I have "Yatterman" stashed somewhere, but I've seen his other works. He was quite good in "The Quiz Show II", but wasn't anywhere as good in "Kiiroi Namida". But Nino never fails to amaze me. This is the reason I like Nino, no matter how whiny he is, no matter how much of a lazy, cocky troll he is. He has something called talent. That is irreplaceable. The man can freaking act.

Kuroki Meisa is as bland as can be, as expressionless as can be. I might go as far to say she is worse than Aiba. If she isn't pretty, she'd be out of a job. But this is reality and looks trumps talent for girls. Fujiki Naohito was a pleasant surprise. I didn't have time like I used to to follow all of their news, so I watched the movie with really next to no clue as to what will happen. I just knew there's a building and there will be some hijackers. I still prefer hot older men to hot young men. =D

I get the posters and banners now. (Not the ones at the train station, that's just a gimmick.) I get the title too. How very Arashi-like, the parts where all five had interaction. Most of them were just playing themselves, except Ohno, I guess. Teehee.

Fat spoilers in hidden text. Highlight to read.

Shit, I knew Sho and Ohno were going to be some of the hijackers, I never thought it'd be all of them. That caught me by surprise. I love surprises. What I find unreasonable is that... so there were consistently three people in the control room with Nino. That makes four of them. And Sho has been consistently trapped with the rest of the hostages, Ohno spent a lot of time in the air duct and Jun has been with Meisa... that leaves only Aiba who was able to guard the room! It doesn't make sense, please.

Next thing that doesn't make sense... seriously, would you hijack a building for a team captain that died a decade ago? I mean... and they tried to make the five come across honorable and kind in nature, just that they need the truth. Riiight... okay. I'd prefer it if they were freaking terrorists, or money-hungry robbers. Something cool! But no... Arashi can't be baddies. What do you think they are? Morita Go? Lol.

Okay, and like... the hijackers were waving the gun around without firing, even when the people were sorta rebelling. I get it, I get it, these people did not intend to kill. But there were hundreds of hostages, normally, people would just lunge at the wimpy people who won't fire won't they? Doesn't make sense for hijackers to not fire, doesn't make sense for the hostages to not rebel at wimpy hijackers. Doesn't make sense.

Reitings: 4/5